Tuesday, April 25, 2017

He Loves Me

He loves me! He totally loves me! Went to bed super early last night which basically means I wake up at 2:00 a.m. because I can't sleep. In light of our large spider invasion I turn on EVERY LIGHT downstairs.
Deciding to clean my desk and WHAT comes strolling around...that DANG ginormous spider! I first pray he doesn't head my direction! Then pray he will walk a little faster and clear a path to my husband! Then I had a brilliant idea I could use my phone and call him, but NO...I left it upstairs! Now the dilemma, if I run, where will that spider go? If I stay, how will we ever get rid of him? Praise the Lord for GIANT bowls! With my heart pumping and my breathing like I ran a marathon I grab the biggest bowl I can find and slap that sucker on top of the spider! Then I take off running! You know that is a sight to see. Getting to the top of the stairs, now how do I not completely freak my husband out because what I wanted to do was scream! In a loud whisper I got his attention. This is the LOVE me part. No questions asked, no we will do it tomorrow, no you are being ridiculous, he just comes downstairs and takes care of the issue. I am quite sure he subconsciously thought I was losing it but he didn't let on that I was a hassle or inconvenient to his only 2 hours of sleep. He took care of things til I felt secure again then kissed me before heading back to bed.
Now my heart comes back down to a normal beating pace I realize how the Lord comes to my rescue every time as gently and loving as my husband. It doesn't matter what I have done or how I approach Him, His response is always the same...ready for me to leap into His arms for security, love and acceptance before I ever even ask!

Monday, April 24, 2017

Cars, Wires, and Rodents

Good GRIEF!  From Spiders, Bees, Lady Bugs, Rats or Mice, and some large Cat that wasn't a house cat running around the house, now we have RODENTS chewing wires in our car!

Are you kidding me?!

I have got to channel in my country girl because clearly these things are not going away.  I have to keep being enlightened to some new creature that likes to invade my home I have made for my children!

My husband thought he would make me aware that we could have been driving with it all weekend, did I mention it is MY CAR!  I have probably had a free rider for quite some time.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  NO woman needs that picture in her head.  Do you KNOW what would have happened if that thing had made an appearance? !  Pretty sure you can draw your own picture!

So what do you do when your husband calls and announces our car issues this weekend were do to rodent chewing on wires?  You immediately Google, Car, Wires, and Rodents!  Did you know there is actually exterminator stuff for that?  Who knew?!

Now...nobody be a kill joy and tell me they don't work.  You can call my husband up and inform him. Hopefully he is smart enough to spray the car down and tell me we are all good whether we are or not.  I totally can shove unpleasant things out of my life!  Let me live in la-la-land.  It does my heart good!

Surely we aren't the only rodent chewing wire car family?  Right?!
Anyone have a cat that wants to roam our property?

So what is my spiritual take away?  The enemy sneaks in and creates havoc often when we are unaware!

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Screams, Spiders, and Reminders

When you have a rent house you don't always get to dictate how things are repaired or what they look like.  Because TRUST me!  If we owned this home...THAT hole!   THAT gap!  THAT board! Would NOT be there!  

I can't relax!  EVER!  Now that I know what could be there!  It was always a possibility when we first moved here, but now I KNOW!  That feeling of being watched...was for REAL!  This is my view from my desk!  I can't enjoy the window outside for always looking up to see, "is HE there?"!

If you follow me on Facebook then you know the story.  If not...here is a quick glance at my post:

When you see a ginormous wolf spider crawl out on the ceiling above you...there may have been some EXTREME SCREAMING involving my husbands name! That's it!! My heart can't take it! 
 I'll admit it! I'm all girl!!! 
That thing about did me in!  Did we kill it NO!  Pretty sure my scream sent it back to hiding😩

It's like the enemy is ready to pounce on me ANY minute!  So I spend about a gazillion times a day while at my desk or walking out the front door looking UP!  This little issue may have solved my late night working!  No way am I staying alone, at night, by this gaping hole for whatever is in there to make an appearance.  We have lived here 11 months...11 months I was lulled into...you are fine there is nothing there.  Then BOOM!  My world is rocked!   

I am waiting, very well aware he WILL make another appearance.  Hoping I am ready, yet not so sure I will be in the right frame of mind to accomplish his death or removal from our home! OH THERE will be a GREAT SCREAM!  I will respond so fast I probably don't even have to think..."Big bad spider now scream!  It will just come out!" 

As only the Lord can do He has brought even this situation back to Him.  Several things come to mind...
  • Am I ready when the enemy will appear?
  • Do I spend more time looking at what MIGHT harm me vs living life?
  • When I encounter danger will I reach for the Lord first or will I act in my own power?
  • Are my eyes on the Lord more than on my circumstances?
  • What is the overflow of my heart?

As I look up, checking for the spider.  I am reminded...do I look to the Lord as often as I am looking out for this spider?

What IS the overflow of my heart?  Have a built a good foundation and have I spent so much time with the Lord that just like that SCREAM that WILL naturally come, what will naturally flow from me in ANY GIVEN circumstance?

Will I function in the spirit, respond like Christ?
Will I function like the flesh, respond like me?

I pray that I will continue to look to the Lord and that He will continue to flow through me in any circumstance, at any given time. 

YES...it seems I have this little reminder every time I look up, where is my heart?  where are my eyes?  what flows through me?

What reminders do you have in your life? 

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Sunsets, Campfires, and My Heart

I love this time in our lives and at the same time a part of me hurts. I miss my older kids being around for chats here and there. I long for their younger siblings to have the life they had with all of us together. I'm confused how to answer questions when visiting churches and they ask how many children and I now put 4 instead of 8 names. (I don't think they really want information on our kids that are married, living on their own, and living 900 miles away.) I feel we still adjust to only cooking for 6 vs 10. My kids call and are confused how to cook for 1 or 2 vs 10. (Who knew that was a problem. haha) It feels funny only managing 4 vs 8 and quite frankly I think I was better doing 8 vs 4. Either that or I am just getting lazy! I long to run into people I know when I am out and about. Our friends are confused at where we live. You are in AR? No you guys are in TN? Are you in TX? When did you move to OK? haha It feels like we currently live in 5 cities vs 1. The kids were excited about our move back towards family then 1/2 of them stayed in TN. WHAT?! (That RV looks better and better every day. Could the Lord just provide that already?)
I get distracted being in a town where everyone still lives in the same area and rather jealous of the fact that we don't get opportunity to worship together, take a son to dinner, or help my daughters shop for something important. I'm sad the siblings don't get to run around together and bond with friends, our home isn't filled with tons of people stopping by, our driveway now only has 2 cars vs 6 or more. It baffles me at the loss of time with so many moves these last few years, the limbo status, the change of direction that life can bring. Starting over whether different states, a different home, a different location is not for the faint of heart.

We love loving on people and yet for whatever reason the Lord has allowed many many distractions to interrupt relationships these past several years. I thought our home would always be a place for our kids to bring their friends and now I only know their friends by a picture they send not a body to hug.
Don't get me wrong. I truly am grateful for all God has provided and I am thankful my heart doesn't dwell long on what has changed in our lives. I won't deny tears still come but my heart does mend. I mean...how can I be sad when we have been blessed with 9 children. Yes, we have 1 in heaven, loss hurts even when that unborn child would have been 22 this month and we still have 8 other kids. Our kids are growing and scattering with another close to leaving the nest. (How is this possible child #5 is about to fly?)

How can I be sad when my children know the Lord and walk with Him. Not always choosing the things I would, but trusting their eyes are upon Him and He will continue to lead them in their walk with Him. How can I be sad when our change of location has brought so many new friends in so many different locations. How blessed are we? How can I be sad when we have gained a new son-in-law, who serves our country, and loves our daughter so well. Did I mention those two are bringing about our first grand baby into the family?! 'Honey and Bear' can't wait to get our hands on that little one! How can I be sad when through all our change the Lord has been the one we have had to learn to hold onto when chaos was all around, and nobody knew the inner struggle but Him. I think all of us would say our faith grew. Our job, our friends, our location didn't bring the comfort. Only the King of Kings provided that for each of us along the way. (He's a good, good Father! )

How can I be sad when He has provided for our needs on a daily basis. I am coming to terms with maybe my wants won't be met in my time frame but all my needs have been and are being met on a daily basis. We are healthy for the most part. Oh I have joints that may not be as strong as I long them to be but He has even provided for that as well.

Life will always be full of beauty and pain much like this rose. It is beautiful but you touch one of those thorns and pain can be around the corner! We may not be able to control all that happens but I can control where I will dwell.

I will LOOK to Him when I doubt.
I will LOOK to Him when I rest.
I will pray for my kids by day.
I will pray for their friends each night.
I will thank the Lord for the life He has given us,
As well as, thank the Lord for the lives that are gone.
When my steps are shaky, I will praise Him,
When my steps are assured, I will too.  
I will seek to forgive and I will work to love.
Above all, I will Glorify Him all the days of my life. 
I will remember the things He has done as well as the things He can do.
And I will find peace in the day to day with my eyes on Him ALWAYS.

Because of the Lord's faithful love, we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! I say: The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him. - Lamentations 3:22-24