WHAT Was I Thinking?

Man...I know better!

After almost 20 years of parenting there are a few things I have learned, the problem is that I don't always follow through with what I know!

I would tell any mom whose husband was going away for the weekend to not have any agenda of your own. Just enjoy the kids! Any plan you have won't work. You will only get exasperated or completely angry in the process, so why not just avoid those all together and enjoy being a mom without a plan.

I've hit this new stage of life of being a mom with college kids and teens, forgetting I still have several little ones at home that can throw a kink or two into a good plan. I can still hit the momma blues of no time for myself, no adult conversation, and nothing fully getting accomplished! So when your husband is gone on a men's retreat with your two oldest sons, your college daughter is hanging out with G'ma, your high school daughter is enjoying the Passions conference in Texas and you are left with the younger children ALL alone, DON'T make plans to accomplish 'your list'!

The misery of knowing you have failed as a mom for the day can be so disappointing to all involved. Losing your cool and ready to drop kick the next child that causes a problem is not really God honoring. I was in an emotional battle all day long. I would have an outburst and then get my self under control. Outburst/control, outburst/control, you get the picture. It was an ongoing battle to which I am afraid to say my flesh won more, but in the end...God always provides forgiveness and redemption!

I eventually gave up on 'my list'. Remembering my advice to every other mom, I stopped my plan and began enjoying my children. All are safe in bed, forgiveness has been given, and now, I will just have to put 'my list' off for another day.

This is by far the hardest thing with me having RA (rheumatoid arthritis)...not getting to stay up until 2:00 a.m. to get 'my list' done:/

Man...
I'm still pouting!
God has more work to do on me tonight!