Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Teen Siblings...A Role to Earn

There is an advantage to having a large family in that you begin to see patterns that you might normally not catch! Of course, with less kids, we might not see what is happening but we also won't have to face it again, and again, and again.

Regardless of the hassle, frustration, and hair pulling we may do during the teenage years, we LOVE our teens!

Wanna know what we have discovered?


IF you have teenagers you have probably noticed that around 12-13 years of age, your new teen has serious issues with older siblings! Actually, I should say, your older sibling has serious issues with their younger sibling.

It has been seen in our home over and over again!

We are on teen #4 & #5 and are discovering there is an unspoken law that must be obtained before younger teen can enter the TRUE teenage kingdom in your home!

By the world's standards, our 6th and 7th grader ARE teenagers.


By sibling standards, they must earn the right to be called teenager in the home.

It is a serious growing pain that we have discovered happens to all upcoming teenagers with other siblings!

We have worked hard over the years to train our children that we are to love, honor, and respect our siblings.

  • Teasing unjustly - is NOT allowed.

  • Putting your sibling down - is NOT allowed.

  • Rolling your eyes,

  • talking under your breath,

  • and ignoring your fellow family member - is NOT allowed.
Really doesn't matter the rules we enforce or whether they have watched this with older siblings because we have discovered you CANNOT CHANGE the teenage ritual of "siblings will NOT accept you as one of them until their friends do". The problem is that friends make this transition rather quickly but it can take months for older sibling to accept this fact.

It eventually comes! Praise the Lord!

And when it does, ALL is well in the home again.


until it does, mom, dad, teen, and younger teen will be in a fight for dominance day after day, after day! Mom and dad will be frustrated! Older sibling will be angry! Younger sibling will be confused, sad, and determined to find their footing in this new stage of life!

To all parents out there...take one day at a time.

You will spend countless hours helping older teen see what they refuse to see....that their sibling has grown up.

You will also have to continually check on the younger teen to see how they are holding up to unjust pressure. You will be teaching them that we can't change others...we can only work on our response. AND...that they will need to find their acceptance in Christ, NOT in the approval of others!

AND remember, THIS shall pass! Unless you have more kids going to be entering the teenage world.

(Notice 6th and 7th grader on the outside looking in?)

But we are well on our way to having all teenagers recognized as teenagers in our home!

(well, until the next batch comes of age...haha!)

The years ahead will be so sweet to watch these friendships grow and grow!

YES...it is worth the frustration as we raise our children!

1 comment:

  1. Good Observation! GREAT POST! YOU and Barry are AMAZING! It's such a blessing to get to watch you BOTH parent with love, grace, and wisdom ....and to see you both take the time to share it with others. Love the new photos you updated on THE TEENS!