Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is going to be part of our life. How is it that we think we can do everything to avoid conflict when we live on a fallen planet with a bunch of sinners?

We are doing a Marriage Oneness class at our church and this past week was on Resolving Conflict in our marriage. (It seems like every marriage class takes us back to parenting and every parenting class takes us back to marriage.) Probably because they are all about relationships!

Anyways, the conflict resolution can so translate into our homes with our children! I love this quote:

Conflict can be "A Stairway Up" or it can be "A Doorway Out" by Tim

Wow...what are we choosing?

I can't help but think we have done our children a huge disservice when we do not teach them how to resolve conflict.

Conflict is inevitable but leaving is a choice!

Yet we tell our children when there is conflict, pain, or disappointments, leave! Do we realize our marriages are training our children how to function in the outside world. We are the living example of how to handle these things. Whether we like it or not, they will mock what we do.

What happened to training them that God can work all things together for His good?

Childbirth is PAINFUL! But oh, the blessing of enduring that pain! Precious hugs, little I love You's, and sweet sound of laughter fill our homes.

Our homes are full of CONFLICT! But what a blessing when we can work through our differences and move forward in oneness in our marriages and our homes. We are a family, a team, living life together. I can't remember one moment in scripture where it says when conflict comes go your own direction. Can you?

Life is full of DISAPPOINTMENTS! But I refuse to let my circumstances rob me of my JOY! Life is too short to live in despair. We only get one life and I hope to enjoy it before I depart to my permanent home of JOY and PEACE in heaven! I did not endure the pain of childbirth, the conflict of raising little children to have my adult kids live in sorrow. They can experience joy in the midst of life! I adore them more than anything and pray they experience a life full of JOY. But unless I teach them how to deal with conflict and disappointments they will live a life of regret. I want them to have the tools they need to move forward in life and not be stuck in their pain.

Barry and I have agreed that our home will always choose to use conflict as A STAIRWAY UP!
God is bigger than our mess!
God is the solution to our pain!
God can bring agreement even when we disagree!
God can use my sorrow, disappointments, and pain for His good. Usually we miss something precious when we will not follow through, all the way through, the pain, struggles, and our conflicts.

If I am pregnant and I end the pregnancy, I have just missed a beautiful blessing of life!
If I am in a relationship and I end a friendship, I have just missed an opportunity to show value to someone I once cared for and who Christ died for, and one more person to love me.
If I am faced with disappointment and I live in that sorrow, I have lost all joy.

I don't know about you, but I would prefer to enjoy the precious hugs of children, cherish the friendships I have, and have more days of happiness than sadness!

I'm not sure how life will turn out for my kids. But I pray they will learn to not hold grudges with their peers. To never allow a dating relationship to allow you to end a friendship. To learn how to do a job well done even when you have a boss that seems to put up brick walls in your path. Their circumstances will not dictate their outcome! God is bigger than any situation they are facing.

They hopefully will learn that God created us as relational beings.
  • He doesn't want us breaking fellowship with him OR anyone else!

That leaves an important role for Barry and I. We are a picture of how you resolve conflict in our home. Whether we want to do it well or not, we better, because we are influencing 8 precious children, and those precious children are influencing their friends and peers. And each of us are representing Christ if we are a Christ follower!

CONFLICT is inevitable! But my response is by choice!

What is your choice?

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