Trying to live in the moment of what God has provided and not be jealous or envious of what others are able to do. Can sometimes be very difficult. Post after post...blog after blog...sale after sale...it is obvious many are making their way to college. And as parents we are having to capture those thoughts of "wish we could" and hand that over to God.
Our oldest daughter is getting her opportunity to attend college this year and we can't help financially has definitely left her with a heavy load to carry. Might I say how graciously she is doing so. Not a complaint to be heard about what others get that she will not receive. We are in awe as God has provided a car for her to drive. How he has met some of her financial needs with scholarships and is blessing her new business with Premier Jewelry or just providing that extra babysitting job.
She is taking one day at a time and getting done what needs to be done.
We can look back to last year and see what a blessing it was for her not to be able to go to college. She tried! But problem after problem with her transcript (my comma isn't working on the computer so good luck with reading this.) shot records and anything else they could think of to lose was a constant issue. Looking back we see what a blessing it was for her to work full-time instead. Watching her learn who she was and to see her grow in confidence in the Lord was a priceless education. Would she have gotten there with school? Who knows.
We are now faced with hoping at the end of the year we see God's hand in this moment too. Because as parents our hearts ache to be able to do more for our children. To be able to add to their education and relieve some of that financial pressure. Or to just have fun driving her to school and setting up a college room. Yet we understand that God isn't letting us walk that path we desire. He has put a different path ahead of us. One that requires us letting go and her making her way as we love her along the way.
I'm in awe as we watch her grow up and walk in maturity. Prayers are said as we give our wishes to God and let Him supply the hope of what we really want. Gratitude is being processed as we realize the joy of watching your child make her way into adulthood.
It isn't about matching bedspreads mini refrigerators and picture frames. It's about her learning to be a light in a dark world. And as parents we should be thankful she is learning to look to her heavenly Father to meet her needs verses her earthly parents.
But for now there are tears as we wish we could give what we want to give. Here is to looking back in a few weeks...months...or years and seeing how God knew best and we will rejoice in knowing He took care of ALL her needs!
Oh friend...thanks for the honesty. I wonder how many people are sending their kids off to school that they cannot afford. And though they get the moment of sending them into the dorms and setting up tidy rooms they also may go to bed that night with a knot of wondering how they will survive financially. Sadly, a lot of what you feel is the world saying, "It should look like THIS. You SHOULD be going into a sinking debt to send your chid to school." I know this is hard. I cry with you as I think I'd feel the EXACT same way (and may soon enough). But, thank you for doing the hard thing. Having a big family is sacrifice for everyone in the family and God knew that when He gave you Hannah. He knew she could handle it. Can't wait to see what He is up to with all this! Love you guys.
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