Monday, June 28, 2010

I Need More Time

You would think I could get myself into a good routine again but I am having NO such luck! Will I ever be on a blogging schedule again? Can I stop the flow of mail that seems to pile upon my desk? Could the children just FREEZE for one week so I can plan a few things? (I know I had 3 weeks without them but it was all physical stuff...painting, sorting, organizing! Now I need mental time!)

Life does not seem to want to work with me on this small task I have before me.

I had big plans of playing all summer and having school organized before June was up. I don't feel I have played at all yet. Nor have I looked at any school curriculum. Why must July already be here?

This week I am consumed with how much can I read, learn, and understand about RA before talking to my specialist this Thursday. A little overwhelming at times. Some days I think, WHEW, that's all I have! Other days, I think, WHY this?

Nothing like 8 kids to snap you back to reality and go on with the days events! Also, there is NOTHING like a living Savior to bring peace to an uncertain future!

I have always said my most difficult days have brought me to a closer walk with the Lord over the years. I would NEVER want to relive those days of hardship but I am thankful for them. Those hard walks have brought me to a place that I understand the peace that passing understanding. I get that His ways are higher than mine. I can comprehend that there is more to this life than my comfort. I am willing to live for Him because He died for me!

My favorite verse is Philippians 4:13!
"I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me."

It rang true in the 11th grade when I had to give an oral report. (I was incredibly shy and HATED to speak in public! I was prepared to take a 0 for the report! UNTIL God reminded me of who He was and then I was left with deciding whether I believed that or not. Let's say God gave me the peace/strength to stand up there and I made an A.)

It will ring true for today too. (I'm not thrilled with the diagnosis but nor am I angry. I pray my walk with Christ will only shine more through the trials that may be ahead. My joy will not be dependant upon me living an easy life. My joy will be here whether life is easy or hard.)

I am learning that there are just times when God ask us to walk a different path. My prayer is "use me Lord" (I think...heehee) even when I don't understand why things happen.

NOW...if I could just figure out how to get more days in my summer I might actually get a few things accomplished before school begins!

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