Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Disappointment - But NOT in the Person

Okay, the Lord is working on my heart. I am beginning to see more and more my wrong actions. Not a fun thing to see. And yet, I can only rejoice because it means the beginning of God taking control and me taking less control.

I know we are all here. We all face kids that don't clean a room, destroy a toy, mess up our kitchens and our garages. They think nothing of wasting the things we buy them. They give little thought to the tossing of a cell phone or the junking up a car. It can all send a parent into a frenzy trying to teach responsibility and the value of that which they take so lightly.

The problem - I am human and lack the ability to show disappointment in the behavior and still show complete adoration in the person.

I can't think of ONE time that my Heavenly Father made me feel inadequate. Everything about His love shouts sheer JOY at my presence. No matter how small or messed up I am. I know my actions disappoint Him. But I know "I" never disappoint Him.

The solution - to rely on Him to help me love, adore, and cherish my children as He loves and adores His!

This is what I am learning that with a little awareness of where I definitely lack, a little awareness of who God is, I can train my kids with the same adoration and love that God gives me.

I often feel I have exactly 45 minutes to show my disappointment in how they didn't do what I asked before they are out the door again. (Sure, you can say just punish them and keep them home. But when they are headed out to school or work that isn't an option.) Teens bring a new dynamic into parenting. They move faster, talk quicker, and can completely woo you into their enthusiasm. Until they walk out the door and you realized you were captivated by their joy of "I'll do it mom!" then you discover they didn't give a 2nd thought to your command to take out the trash, pick up their room, move their laundry, or put their dishes in the sink.

I can see in their eyes I am going about this wrong. I lack the ability to show disappointment with the right heart attitude. But I am working on it with His help. This is what I discovered...when I realize that I am going to walk the fine line of disappointment in the action and not the person I must look to HIM first. When I allow God to work through me I find my voice is calmer, the point gets across, and a teen walks out with the assurance of a mommas love and knowing they can improve. When I parent in a hurry (my 45 minute window) I rant and rave, show disgust that is interpreted as a child who has failed me. OH how thankful I am in a Lord that doesn't let me walk out the door with the thought I have failed. How dare I to be so careless and allow my children to have to endure such a selfish rant from an overwhelmed mom.

I won't get this right every time. But with Gods grace He will bring me back into awareness of how my response to my precious children means something. I want it to mean that although they may have not done the right thing 'THEY' are far more precious than me proving a point. A point that I may rant for 45 minutes to prove (and it changes nothing) or I can 'let God' and a point is proved in 5 minutes or less. Far more powerful and honoring to all involved!

How is your disappointment level?

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