I figured out I am just like my teens. Not sure whether I want to be older or not. But I definitely did not like hearing the doctor announce so easily that my biological clock is ticking. I laughed at first and then was offended. Did he really have to announce that?
Sometimes I still feel like I am 28 and ready for another precious baby!
Other days I am thinking, it is okay if I move to that next stage...babies are wearing me out!
I am sad at the thought that this stage of our life might be ending, and yet, excited to move to that next stage of life.
The doctor also asked if we are scolded a lot for all of our children. "Yes, there are times we are definitely questioned!" I realize they just can't comprehend what we know! Each of these kids are a blessing (even on the difficult days) which one would we do without???
The next question was if we were Catholic? That is definitely asked a lot. Which then follows with shock when we say, no. Early on in our walk with the Lord, He showed Barry and I with His word how children are a blessing. And He put that desire to raise soldiers for Christ. We could not ignore what He was asking 'us' to do.
I feel I need to clarify this point about what he asked 'us' to do! Each of us has to look at what the Lord is calling us to do. He walks us one step at a time and not all of us take the same journey. Too many times as Christians we are too critical of others because they aren't walking the path that God showed us. Could it be that we might not be meant to walk the same path?
He didn't call all of us to be single. But there are definite scriptures as to why that is a noble calling.
He didn't call us all to be missionary's in a foreign country. Yet we should all be mission minded and it can happen on our own foreign soil (this side of heaven is foreign soil).
He doesn't ask us all to give thousands of dollars to Him. Yet we should all give.
He doesn't ask us all to serve on church staff. Yet we are all a part of the body and should serve.
He does say children are a blessing. That doesn't mean only if they come from your womb! He doesn't ask everyone to carry 5, 8, 10, 20 children. He says children are a blessing and he opens and closes the womb. If you are a woman that has not been able to carry children, count it all joy that the Lord has asked you to walk a unique path. If you are a woman that has carried 1, 5, or 10 plus children, count it all joy that the Lord asked you to walk a 'different' unique path.
Saying that, I will say I think there are methods in which we control our families that are not God honoring. And many times we follow the world and not question that their method might not be a good way. Sometimes we just NEVER asked God what He desires us to do. We didn't think to ask that question! How many children would you choose to bless us with? If He chose not to open your womb does that mean you are not blessed? NO! For some reason the Lord is asking you to walk a different path.
So many times.....
We pray and ask him how to control our finances.
We ask Him if we should move to another country.
We ask Him if we should marry.
We pray to seek about our children's education, public or private schools.
We might even ask if we should adopt.
But OFTEN we do not ask the size of our family.
I guess my point. What is God asking you to do? Don't compare to others nor judge others.
Just as we love our children each as individuals with their special abilities and different personalities. God loves each of His children and He knows the different gifts and abilities that He has given each of us.
Our desire for our children is they 'walk' with the Lord. But those walks could look very differently! I am thankful for a God that He grants grace and doesn't measure me against everyone else. He loves me the way He created me. And He walks me one step at a time on the path He leads me on.
God knows me, He knows what He has prepared for me. Am I willing to follow His lead and walk the path He has shown? And more importantly am I looking and asking what that path might be?
Did I really have a baby at 42? What was God thinking? But every night I tuck that little guy in I am thankful He gave us one more. Will we have more? I don't know. This I do know...if He ask...we will! And along that path He will walk with me one step at a time.