Thursday, May 3, 2012

Me And My Holes And Gaps

I imagine our neighbors get an eyeful watching our family day to day.  I'm thinking it looks like mass chaos in fast forward!  Probably funny to watch but I guarantee it is anything but funny when moms brain is about to explode managing 10 people and their schedules!

When you are a large family and you have 5 drivers, 3 cars, and 5 kids above have CONSTANT motion!  Juggling who goes where when and who stays home to care for the 3 little ones, then who is home for dinner, who can start dinner, who can pull dinner out, and who must you save dinner can become interesting!  Then you have the car shuffle between 5 drivers and 4 people with jobs...oh the joy of managing the home agenda!

No need to look for grace because I better know where it is at all times.  Thankfully I do...BUT I can't say I always access it!  I am learning when my head begins to spin I better start choosing to put my eyes back on the constant!  That constant is God and His design, His grace, His agenda.  Remembering that life is more about relationships than tasks, that how I respond is more important than all the activities we can accomplish.  If I can't keep joy in the picture then it is time to re-evaluate all we do.  If mom can't stay sane there is no hope for the masses! 

With life in full swing I am reminded daily there is no way to do it apart from living in God's grace for tomorrow, today, and this moment!  I need to get this right!  I have 8 children I am modeling life for on a daily and moment to moment basis.  I may not feel like being gracious or joyful in the moment but I am reminded my a sweet gentle tap of how "I hope" to see my children respond one the middle of "their" chaos....and somehow that gets me out of my "I don't care I want to throw a fit anyways stage".

So there you have it...I throw fits, I freak out at the chaos, and I lose brain cells trying to keep it all straight.  But thankfully I have a Savior who doesn't expect me to be perfect...He desires me to call on Him!  He will simply step into my holes when I allow Him and will fill in my gaps!
 This is the picture I want to see of my kids!  Enjoying life and enjoying one another no matter the chaos that is happening...AND that starts with ME!

1 comment:

  1. Praise...not perfection....that's what Ann Voskamp says. We bring our praise...He covers it all with grace! Right there with you friend...except I still have more littles than bigs! Can't imagine how busy life is for you with so many young adults!