Thursday, August 5, 2010

An Insight into Teens...I've got FIVE!

I am discovering something with teens. (I'm no expert but I do have experience!)
Although they are connected, they chat, they communicate, they may not offer information to you.

I'm learning to not take it personal and I am learning to ask more questions. I pray for God to prompt the right questions but for the most part we just need to seize our moments to talk.

Our kids have things to say but they may not know how to bring it up. I think ultimately they want to talk to us even though they roll their eyes and sigh. I'm learning to push through those moments and not let them trip me into a detour where I end up stopping the conversation out of frustration.

I have lots to learn.
I won't always catch when they need to talk.
I may not ask the right questions.
But I hope with a little practice of making the effort, taking the time, and grabbing our moments that our house will be full of teen/parent conversations.

How can we help them navigate this fallen planet unless we are able to speak into their struggles?

How can we speak into their struggles if we are unaware of their issues?

How will we encourage them through their issues if we have no relationship with our teens?

How can we have a relationship with our teens if there is no conversations?

Are you asking questions?

A major point to consider when asking questions.....Don't ask the questions where you expect certain answers! Think of your teen as a first date. You know the ones when you are dying to get to know this other person in your life and you really seek to know WHO they are. IF you have teens then you have this other person whom you have never met. Because although they resemble the child you birthed, burped, and fed, they now have a personality that is unique from you.

They have thoughts about their world.
They have insights that might intrigue you.
They have questions they want asked.

Are you asking them? Or do they only hear from their peers?


  1. Excellent post, Shannon - I'm headed in that direction and appreciate the reminder!

    My favorite, favorite book on this topic is "Age of Opportunity" by Paul David Tripp. Have you read that one? It's great!

    Also, we use the curriculum called Tapestry of Grace, and the author has a blog - Her post last week gave Chad and I so much to think about. It's called "Trust God - extend dignity"

    Thanks for sharing your insights!

  2. Age of Opportunity is fantastic. I believe you can't read enough with this age group:) We just keep reading and keep adding to our tool belt. Another book we enjoy is the Paradox Principles of Parenting among others! I'm gonna check out her blog. Thanks for posting!

  3. Thanks, Shannon! My biggest struggle is not knowing this, but having the energy to DO IT, still having the little ones that wear me out, too. I know you know what that is like! :-)
    I'm loving who my teens are growing up to be. It's great fun, even if it's a lot of emotional WORK!
    Happy Friday!