This time of year always brings me back to questioning and evaluating how I am doing as a home school mom. I go through doubts, worries, fears will they achieve what they need to achieve. Have I let my children down?
Homeschooling with a variety of ages brings constant interruptions. Rarely will two days look alike. And when you live in your house all day...the mess...oh, the mess we can create! Endless amounts of chores and quick picks ups throughout our day are sometimes a curse to my children but then I remember they need to learn responsibility. And life will never run in perfect order when they are one day parents, college students or business owners.
(Hopefully I am walking them through this chaos of interruptions without too much anger, too many melt downs, or not enough encouragement to complete the task in front of them.)
With Testing approaching rather quickly now you begin to wonder what I left out, will my kids get it, am I a completely horrible teacher? Ugh...I should have, I could have, I would have...these thoughts plague me at times.
There is nothing simple about homeschooling (or even sending your kids too school...did I send them to the right school, should I home school, should they go to a private school) when you talk about the weight we can put on our shoulders. Especially when I/we end up comparing ourselves to what others can accomplish.
I find from time to time I gotta sit down and write out why we are doing what we are doing! Every time, with out a doubt, it comes down to me having impact on my kids, NOT how smart they are!
I am confident someone else could teach them far more and be more efficient than I!
I am also quite confident that God told me that I was to guide these children on this path of life, walking day in and day out, no matter how tiring it can be!
Homeschooling isn't for everyone. But IT IS what God has asked this family to do. So, as long as He asks, I will continue to walk in faith that He will fill in the gaps for a mom that is not, will not, can not be perfect.