Do you have one of those kids where you give direction and yet they just seem to follow their own direction?
I mean seriously....
If I say, "Pick up that bag and take it to the trash".
Why do I find it in his closet 4 hours later?
If I say, "Clean the kitchen". I am pretty sure I mean the ENTIRE kitchen!
Not just the part you feel like.
If I say, "Finish your laundry".
That doesn't mean start a load but leave a trail of clothing 'to and from' the washer and dryer!
If I say, "Clean the bathroom".
I AM including the wet towels on the floor, the trash on the counter, and the bottles of stuff spilling over everywhere!
If I give direction to that child....
I am POSITIVE if I wanted someone else doing it, I would say so.
After a very busy morning of getting up when I didn't want to.
Trying to eat a breakfast when we didn't have any food.
Grabbing a moment of drivers ed for the high schooler before she goes to work.
Now realizing there is NO gas in the van, fill it up, and know it will need to be filled again in 48 hours.
Spend a morning in Sam's to have people stare at my over loaded cart.
And then have a cashier that reloads the cart where 1/2 of the stuff falls off as I walk to my car.
Rush home to pay bills where I get to watch the money that was just deposited in our account leave as fast as it entered.
Now back to the car to pick up the high schooler. Didn't I just drop her off????
Can you relate or what?
Here is where the problem begins. I find that I gave direction to a child. I was interrupted in phone a call, then found my directions were passed off to another child, only to discover anything I had asked in the past 2 days was not done. (partially my fault for no follow thru) And this child has the gall to be mad, mumble under his breath and 1/2 way hit something. (acts like he is going to hit something, then just taps it...the point is....there is a heart thing happening where he isn't taking control of his emotions)
OH YES....momma is gonna correct this. As I go in there first in full control, then discover more things NOT done or see more wrong attitude, the voice is on the rise. As I speak to him (voice increasing in volume) I realize (in thought....I am doing the same thing he is....I need to bring my volume down and teach this child how to control his anger/frustrations) Lets just say I was NOT setting a good example. But PTL God did grab my attention and I was able to bring it back down to where it needed to be.
Later again...after boys are taken to tennis tournament I see more and more things that were absolutely NOT done the right way. This leads to a parent phone "pow-wow" with husband to discuss what needs to happen. OH...we ARE gonna get'em. It wasn't just one child...but there was one specifically that was heavy on our hearts.
In this process not only did we see some behavior in the house that needed to be corrected, now we are seeing some actions on the court that need to be corrected. This ultimately just showed us that this was more than just behavior we didn't like in the home but it was going to be carried out in his daily life if we didn't help him. Now, instead of anger, we are both moving toward how do we help this child learn the appropriate ways to handle frustration. (Keep in mind by any outsider looking in probably would not see that big of a problem. That doesn't matter does it...sin is sin!) But we knew we were seeing a growing trend and without taming it, it would become bigger over the years. We had several phone conversations off and on through the night as this child was engaged in his tennis match. The decision was made that we definitely needed to address it and no longer could we casually deal with this. In between the phone conversations I am praying while watching a movie with younger kids and asking God to help show me/us what to do.
Do YOU know what happened next?
Long story short.....the tennis crew come home. Barry sits down to share with me about the match. "This child gets in the car and proceeds to share with his father how he had a bad attitude on the court (he was letting his emotions take over)." God revealed to him what he needed to know before his parents pointed it out. His dad was very ready to point out all the different situations where this child failed. And yet this child's Heavenly Father was already working on the heart! With tears in our eyes as Barry fills me in, I am in awe at how a 12 year old boy can exhibit such a maturity. Our role as parents aren't done! He STILL needs us there to help. But 1/2 the battle is realizing you have a problem. The next 1/2 is calling upon the one that can help change a heart!
Thank You Lord for giving Barry and I a glimpse at what you are teaching our son. Now give us wisdom as we continue to train and lead him to becoming a man of God! Help him to have the strength to call on you! Let us not be a stumbling block. Help us to see our own faults, admit them, and then allow us to call on you to bring change. We won't be perfect, he won't be perfect, but we can continue to keep our eyes on you and allow you to bring change!