It has been a rough couple of weeks. I have played with the thoughts of running away and hiding. It seemed very tempting at any given hour lately.
I tried to assure my husband it was no fault of his or even anything he could really do but just hang on, pray for me, and love me through it.
About reaching the end of my rope I called on a few friends to lift me in prayer.
Why is it we wait so long to do that?
I seriously think in minutes they were covering me in prayer because I began to get clarity on what needed to happen next, I could problem solve one issue to another, and my checklist of the unimaginable was diminishing quickly!
It just isn't easy being a mom sometimes!
About the 10th squabble of the day you are ready to tackle someone that even glances your way. That doesn't even touch the issues of kids playing every direction in every square inch of my house, with noise level to boot. Add on the extra medical bills, AGAIN. And then the extra hassle of straightening out the mess the billing people create. (I am positive they "bill to confuse" so you just get so exasperated you just pay to be done with it!) Now dump a little rheumatoid issue from lack of sleep and extra stress and you have a mom on the verge of falling apart in more ways than one!
It makes you re-evaluate your schedule and life. I pretty much didn't see what could be dropped off my plate! Meals must be cooked, doctor visits must continue, household must be held to some sort of order, the troops must be kept on task, love must be given, baths were a must, and there is no letting up on obedience training for a lively toddler! Top it off with the heart to serve women, nurture new moms, and love on marriages and well, my plate-floweth-over!
After seeking God's heart and praying for HOW will I continue, He started providing the answers. Or should I say provided me strength to move forward or eyes to see more options. Maybe He just relieved some of the pressure so this mom could think again.
No, we have not come into large sums of money to solve the financial bucket of medical bills of lately. Nor has he provided the housekeeper to clean up the disaster we create. Nope, I still have no assistant to help make the phone calls that need to be accomplished, the emails to be sent, or the paperwork to be filed. There are no fancy meals and no magic pills. I had the simplicity of sending up a prayer and watching the Lord lift my heavy burden to a manageable weight for me.
Thank You Lord for better days!