Saturday, October 23, 2010

Parent or Counselor?

I have decided that parenting is much like a counseling service! I really have to set aside the fact this is MY child. If I can view them as God's child then I tend not to take our issues so personally. If I view them as MY child, then I tend to over react at every pressure point.

Counselors don't tend to react because they can sit outside the problem vs. in the middle of the issue.

Every issue we have that comes up in our home has to be managed delicately. Even when they need the hard line of dad stepping up and putting down the law! That law without grace falls apart! And frankly, there isn't much grace when we are in the moment of reacting to a given situation verses guiding them into adulthood.

If I remember that at this stage we are helping them grow into WISE young adults it means I have to walk with them through the messes they create. Not judging, not disciplining in fear, not over-reacting! I am so thankful I have a husband that we can hash out the issue before we address the issue. We process together, share each of our insights, pray, seek a heart that will respond as Christ, and then settle on how we will talk with the teen. Only after we have processed our own emotions can we actually be to a point to approach and help the teen.

More often than not when an issue comes if we address it before much thought or weeding through our own perspective I find we make a bigger mess of the issue. We all begin arguing over what really isn't the problem and leaving the root to come back out again and again.

Why I can't always remember this is sad to me. We tend to react more often than process.

But when we process, we give time for God to feed into the emotions and really help us see what we are dealing with at any given moment. When you have parents seeking the Lord, teens seeking the Lord, then we need to allow God to work on each of our hearts.

Yep, we aren't just parents, we are nurses, beauticians, lawyers, chefs, house keepers, educators, and even counselors. We don't get paid for the different hats we must wear, but we will reap beautiful benefits as our children grow into some fabulous adults. It takes time, patience, and a great deal of God's grace. Probably more importantly, it takes parents willing to seek God's heart!

Let's challenge one another to seek God in some of the most difficult relationships to manage...raising young adults for Him!

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