Monday, March 25, 2013

Here!! Now, Do I Sit, Move, OR Release

I'm HERE!  I made an 8 1/2 hour car trip in 11 hrs by myself!  Well, with 4 other non-drivers so basically...by myself! (I did it!)  Quite possibly drank more coke than anyone should ever have in one day but it got me here!  Thankful for podcasts from FamilyLife and Focus on the Family to keep me focused since the non-drivers were entertained by non-stop movies!

We arrived in Tennessee, grocery shopped and unloaded car, set up house, and then crashed!  No time to waste as we helped get our teenager prepared for mission trip to New York City with her new youth group in less than 20 hours!  Once she was off...I could finally BREATHE!

Oh my goodness I had no idea how tired I was until I slept in until 10, took 2 naps and went to bed at 9:00p.m!  Even the little boys were thankful to just sit at home!  If you have boys...then you KNOW what an amazing thing this is to see! 

This has seemed like such a long year and yet not all answers have been answered...waiting on God is not an easy thing!  Again, thinking I was pretty easy going and yet I am reminded once again I am not as easy going since  I am getting quite anxious to be settled!  UGH!  Fighting against being in too big of a hurry, being anxious for answers, fear of not selling a house, and wondering what I am to be about in our new home and anxiously awaiting my older kids to join us...all these things keep my head in FULL gear!

I guess I haven't had much time to think lately because now that I have a few moments of down time I am not sure what I am to process.  AND YET!  I've got a gazillion things to process!  Doctors, schools, stores, banks, library, address change, etc.


I'm not sure there is anything much harder than waiting on God!  I ought to know by now (I've seen God work for years) that I can save myself a lot of grief, fear, and worry if I will just move forward one step at a time and wait for God to provide those missing answers to my questions.  YET!  I find I am fully human, fully mom, fully woman!  You know...a woman THAT is grabbing for answers!  Once again I am proving to be more like Eve than I would like to be!  Because every time I pick up my Bible God keeps bringing up scriptures of waiting!  I think this is like a fast.  I have done several in the past couple of years.  It's not about NOT having food as much as I WANT, WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT IT!  I'm afraid that is me now!  God keeps saying to wait...and I keep thinking in my head...I don't want to wait! 

Thankful I have 3 little boys by my side at the moment to distract me from my anxiousness!  They seem very content to have mom fully focused on them and could care less about all those answers I am waiting on. Maybe God is anxiously awaiting for me to release, let go, and let Him! 

I would appreciate your prayers as this woman is fighting the waiting process!  AND yet I am fully aware there is no place I would rather be than to be sitting in God's arms...waiting!  YET...I keep throwing my fit of "I don't want to wait"!  Hang with me while God works on my tantrum!  I'm getting there...s l o w l y...but I am getting there!  Maybe I need another nap first!

3 comments:

  1. SO right there with you. A head full of fear and worries and what ifs. Praying for answers for you and praying while you wait!

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  2. Thanks for sharing your heart. I could have written it too. Praying He encourages you & ministers to the most tender places of your heart, Shannon. Waiting & praying with you!

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  3. Praying with and for you! Before reading your blog, I was just personally challenged by this thought provoking post on FB today ....
    "Waiting is uncomfortable because it devastates the delusion that you are in control and calls you to submit to the control of Another." posted by Paul David Tripp. Continuing in attitude of prayer and focusing on God's provision ...now and eternally! Love you!

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