Monday, February 27, 2012
It is definitely a wild year! I've pretty much resolved myself to the fact I will have to rely upon the Lord because there is NO possible way to manage it all!
We are in the sandwich generation! You know, the one where you are caring for your children and helping with your parents. It's funny though, because even though some days I am drop dead tired I'll do it again tomorrow if needed!
I wonder if I could actually say we are in the triple sandwich generation, or actually maybe the quadruple sandwich generation.
No matter where I find myself I must fill my cup because if you are a mom, you are being squooshed one way or another! That can be a scary thing when you aren't sure what will come out during the squooshing process! I grab what I can to fill my cup! Whether it be digging into Scripture, calling out in prayer, reaching for a friend, attending a study to remind me what is important, or just having my husband hold me for awhile. God is good to give me a variety of resources to make me a viable mom!
When the squooshing reveals the unpleasant, that is my cue to dig deep! I won't always respond well but I am thankful God will always be within a moments grasp! No matter what, I will be thankful I am able to be squooshed! To say I have grown up with loving parents and have been blessed with 8 wonderful children, I count it a pleasure to be squooshed!
We are in the sandwich generation! You know, the one where you are caring for your children and helping with your parents. It's funny though, because even though some days I am drop dead tired I'll do it again tomorrow if needed!
I wonder if I could actually say we are in the triple sandwich generation, or actually maybe the quadruple sandwich generation.
- Caring for parents
- Raising a toddler
- Parenting teens
- Influencing our young adult college students
No matter where I find myself I must fill my cup because if you are a mom, you are being squooshed one way or another! That can be a scary thing when you aren't sure what will come out during the squooshing process! I grab what I can to fill my cup! Whether it be digging into Scripture, calling out in prayer, reaching for a friend, attending a study to remind me what is important, or just having my husband hold me for awhile. God is good to give me a variety of resources to make me a viable mom!
When the squooshing reveals the unpleasant, that is my cue to dig deep! I won't always respond well but I am thankful God will always be within a moments grasp! No matter what, I will be thankful I am able to be squooshed! To say I have grown up with loving parents and have been blessed with 8 wonderful children, I count it a pleasure to be squooshed!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Toddler training in full swing! We have never seemed to have the 'terrible 2's' in our home. It seems we have always had the 'push the limit 3's'!
The problem is when you are #8 in the family your training seems to take a little longer to be noticed because we are all moving at teenage speed! Poor guy! He has done quite well staying up with all the activity. He jumps right in for some limbo action. He can play a little cards. He will flip a few times over different guest in our home. And the laughter comes when he tries to say their names, warwa, atin, day, ope, moia, etc. Inevitably he will go too far, be too silly, and interrupt the fun. That is our cue to step in and remove him!
Our new move...well old move...just with new kid, is to train him how to get our attention without jumping in our laps, crawling over our heads, or shouting our names a dozen times. We are teaching him the "interrupt rule"! I can't remember where we learned this...it might have been "Growing Kids Gods Way". Not sure! All we know is this rule has been a life savor with 8 children!
Here is how it works....
Teach the child if he wants your attention to lay his hand on your arm or shoulder, without saying a word, wait quietly, until you look at him. After a couple of practices and then teaching the teens to do the same...he's got it. Now it is up to us to hold him accountable. (This is the harder part of the training!)
This morning I was working on the computer and he quietly put his hand on my arm. I quickly looked at him and realized he was doing the interrupt rule. I looked right in his eyes and told him "Thank You for using the interrupt rule, what do you need?" Then he proceeded to jabber. (He's a talker!) After realizing my excitement over his use of the interrupt rule. He practiced a few more times! YES...we have child #8 trained. Well, I should say we have child #8 informed of knowledge that will help him. I am quite sure our training will continue. But at least he knows WHAT to do!
A couple of rules we have for phone or interrupt rule.
We aren't born with self control! Self control MUST be taught! Are you teaching self control to your children? Better question...am I using self control in my life? hmmm!
We must teach our children to be master over their desires and passions or leave them to be controlled by them! Only during the younger years do we have the luxury to train this. Because in the near future it will be up to them to manage. And apart from Christ, I'm not sure how you can master those things. We are all born selfish and eager to please self! Let's do our part as moms and dads and give them the knowledge with how to bring their impulses under submission. And then continue to point them to Christ so that He can direct their paths.
Here is a thought to leave you with, "What you don't learn to master, will master you!"
The problem is when you are #8 in the family your training seems to take a little longer to be noticed because we are all moving at teenage speed! Poor guy! He has done quite well staying up with all the activity. He jumps right in for some limbo action. He can play a little cards. He will flip a few times over different guest in our home. And the laughter comes when he tries to say their names, warwa, atin, day, ope, moia, etc. Inevitably he will go too far, be too silly, and interrupt the fun. That is our cue to step in and remove him!
Our new move...well old move...just with new kid, is to train him how to get our attention without jumping in our laps, crawling over our heads, or shouting our names a dozen times. We are teaching him the "interrupt rule"! I can't remember where we learned this...it might have been "Growing Kids Gods Way". Not sure! All we know is this rule has been a life savor with 8 children!
Here is how it works....
Teach the child if he wants your attention to lay his hand on your arm or shoulder, without saying a word, wait quietly, until you look at him. After a couple of practices and then teaching the teens to do the same...he's got it. Now it is up to us to hold him accountable. (This is the harder part of the training!)
This morning I was working on the computer and he quietly put his hand on my arm. I quickly looked at him and realized he was doing the interrupt rule. I looked right in his eyes and told him "Thank You for using the interrupt rule, what do you need?" Then he proceeded to jabber. (He's a talker!) After realizing my excitement over his use of the interrupt rule. He practiced a few more times! YES...we have child #8 trained. Well, I should say we have child #8 informed of knowledge that will help him. I am quite sure our training will continue. But at least he knows WHAT to do!
A couple of rules we have for phone or interrupt rule.
- If I say just a minute and you keep asking, "the answer will always be NO"
- If you keep talking when I ask you to stop "the answer will be NO"
We aren't born with self control! Self control MUST be taught! Are you teaching self control to your children? Better question...am I using self control in my life? hmmm!
We must teach our children to be master over their desires and passions or leave them to be controlled by them! Only during the younger years do we have the luxury to train this. Because in the near future it will be up to them to manage. And apart from Christ, I'm not sure how you can master those things. We are all born selfish and eager to please self! Let's do our part as moms and dads and give them the knowledge with how to bring their impulses under submission. And then continue to point them to Christ so that He can direct their paths.
Here is a thought to leave you with, "What you don't learn to master, will master you!"
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Are your teens talking to you about dating? IF they aren't...then figure out why! Because they ARE to someone!
If there is one thing we have learned (at least in our family) is that teens don't just offer up information. For us, we have to ask. IF 'we' don't ask, THEY don't tell. We think we have the relationship that they could ask us anything and yet...I think they often don't because they aren't sure how to bring the topic up.
We are learning to be diligent in bringing up the topics.
I love how our youth ministry is bringing up the topics and inviting parents to run with the knowledge of the questions their kids are asking. Blake Hudspeth (our youth minister) posted this blog of 24 Dating Questions our teens are asking. We look forward to the conversations with our teens while at the same time diving into helping them understand....
Check out the 24 Dating Questions and have fun with your teen conversations!
If there is one thing we have learned (at least in our family) is that teens don't just offer up information. For us, we have to ask. IF 'we' don't ask, THEY don't tell. We think we have the relationship that they could ask us anything and yet...I think they often don't because they aren't sure how to bring the topic up.
We are learning to be diligent in bringing up the topics.
I love how our youth ministry is bringing up the topics and inviting parents to run with the knowledge of the questions their kids are asking. Blake Hudspeth (our youth minister) posted this blog of 24 Dating Questions our teens are asking. We look forward to the conversations with our teens while at the same time diving into helping them understand....
- there is more to purity than just virginity
- that dating are/should be friendships that continue, not end after a relationship has come to past
- how to date well
- how to be able to look back on these years with joy and not regret
- what is a guys role (for our boys)
- what is a girls role (for our girls)
- how their actions affect the opposite sex
Check out the 24 Dating Questions and have fun with your teen conversations!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
You know when you have 2 college students and 3 teens this will be a common topic in our household. We are navigating the waters of training and influencing our kids towards healthy relationships. Whether they date, are friends, or dealing with parents. Parenting the grown child is more about leading and guiding them than it is making their decisions for them.
We are all about helping them learn the pro's and con's and them looking at what 'they hope' to have in relationships in their future. You have to take them down the road some and then back up to today.
We want to help them learn to make wise decisions for the next time too! So just drawing a line for them doesn't help them learn how to process a given situation for tomorrow. This doesn't mean there are not times to draw lines...because there definitely are those times! Part of the joy of parenting...we get to figure out when those lines should be drawn. Sometimes we will do this right and sometimes we won't. Thank goodness we know that God can work through our weaknesses when we mess up, He still has His "A" game on!
You can't teach a toddler to walk if you are always holding them up during those first steps. You have to let them try it on their own, let them find their balance, and step in when needed! We find the same thing is true of our teens. Trust me...we don't stray far from our teens. They need us here for the support just in a different way than they did as a toddler. And so far...we haven't had a teen walk too far off from our desire/advice. They do make decisions we would prefer they not make, but they haven't been HUGE wrong choices. They have been stumbles that they can recover from. We allow those times which seem to present good opportunity for teaching and training.
Our goal is to walk these paths with them, through the good, the bad, the ugly, while we talk, analyze, discuss ways we can handle a situation or just giving them another way to look at something. We are finding they are really open to what we have to say when we treat them with respect and allow them to be heard. We need to hear them so they can hear us. (Often we hear them but they don't believe we do...this takes time and sometimes we aren't listening but we pray we get there sooner or later!) I will say you have to hang on and fight through the preteen years before you have their listening ear. All 5 of our teens have first 'bucked the system' so to say. Then after some type of dilemma or struggle we have found we get opportunity to pour into their life. With prayer and seeking wisdom, we have been able to gain their trust. We don't take this lightly! Each child can choose their own path. God gave us a free will so anything could happen.
Our hearts prayer is that God would continue to teach us how to guide our teens through the tough years of learning who they are, what they are to become, who they will hang with, and what does dating and marriage look like!
So...to date or not to date?
Hmmm....can't say our kids date and can't say they don't. Every situation and every teen/college student is different. We tend to talk about not labeling yourself in a relationship until you are moving towards marriage. Once you are labeled then you are moving towards being exclusive and we just feel that isn't necessary until you are older. We talk about walking God's path and not following the cultures norm. We challenge them to see if they are living a life of purity. AND...are they honoring those of the opposite sex. We hope our kids enjoy going out with good friends...keeping it fun...keeping it as a group....and keeping yourself accountable.
It is a hot topic that I am sure will be discussed for many more years to come. We just pray they keep us in their loop to offer parental wisdom and let us walk with them. There may be times we have to draw a line but so far with a lot of love, talking, and listening...they have seem to be headed towards good decision making. Of course, we have many more years of this and 8 very different personalities so you shall find us...
We are all about helping them learn the pro's and con's and them looking at what 'they hope' to have in relationships in their future. You have to take them down the road some and then back up to today.
- What kind of marriage do you want?
- If you want that kind of marriage then who should you date?
- If that is who you want to date then why are you making the choices you are making?
- Are you being the type of person that someone like that would want to date?
- What does God say about relationships?
- Do you think you are doing this right or maybe you should be making a different decision?
We want to help them learn to make wise decisions for the next time too! So just drawing a line for them doesn't help them learn how to process a given situation for tomorrow. This doesn't mean there are not times to draw lines...because there definitely are those times! Part of the joy of parenting...we get to figure out when those lines should be drawn. Sometimes we will do this right and sometimes we won't. Thank goodness we know that God can work through our weaknesses when we mess up, He still has His "A" game on!
You can't teach a toddler to walk if you are always holding them up during those first steps. You have to let them try it on their own, let them find their balance, and step in when needed! We find the same thing is true of our teens. Trust me...we don't stray far from our teens. They need us here for the support just in a different way than they did as a toddler. And so far...we haven't had a teen walk too far off from our desire/advice. They do make decisions we would prefer they not make, but they haven't been HUGE wrong choices. They have been stumbles that they can recover from. We allow those times which seem to present good opportunity for teaching and training.
Our goal is to walk these paths with them, through the good, the bad, the ugly, while we talk, analyze, discuss ways we can handle a situation or just giving them another way to look at something. We are finding they are really open to what we have to say when we treat them with respect and allow them to be heard. We need to hear them so they can hear us. (Often we hear them but they don't believe we do...this takes time and sometimes we aren't listening but we pray we get there sooner or later!) I will say you have to hang on and fight through the preteen years before you have their listening ear. All 5 of our teens have first 'bucked the system' so to say. Then after some type of dilemma or struggle we have found we get opportunity to pour into their life. With prayer and seeking wisdom, we have been able to gain their trust. We don't take this lightly! Each child can choose their own path. God gave us a free will so anything could happen.
Our hearts prayer is that God would continue to teach us how to guide our teens through the tough years of learning who they are, what they are to become, who they will hang with, and what does dating and marriage look like!
So...to date or not to date?
Hmmm....can't say our kids date and can't say they don't. Every situation and every teen/college student is different. We tend to talk about not labeling yourself in a relationship until you are moving towards marriage. Once you are labeled then you are moving towards being exclusive and we just feel that isn't necessary until you are older. We talk about walking God's path and not following the cultures norm. We challenge them to see if they are living a life of purity. AND...are they honoring those of the opposite sex. We hope our kids enjoy going out with good friends...keeping it fun...keeping it as a group....and keeping yourself accountable.
It is a hot topic that I am sure will be discussed for many more years to come. We just pray they keep us in their loop to offer parental wisdom and let us walk with them. There may be times we have to draw a line but so far with a lot of love, talking, and listening...they have seem to be headed towards good decision making. Of course, we have many more years of this and 8 very different personalities so you shall find us...
- on our knees often
- absorbing all the parenting tips we can find
- looking for mentors just ahead of us in this walk
- asking forgiveness from our kids when we miss handle a situation
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Man! I feel like we have had Christmas for a couple of months!
Grandma and Grandaddy have decided to make this season a fun one. It has been an interesting year as they adapt to life with LBD. Mom is now home with him all day and each day is a unique one. Dad, aka "G'Daddy", has wanted to pass some things on to his grandkids. We are so thankful he is choosing to do that now so he can enjoy seeing their excitement and love for those gifts.
He first started with the boys, 10 grandsons! My dad loved to hunt and had a collection of various guns. Amazing enough he had exactly the right amount of guns for his grandsons. We set up a fun evening for the event. Laying all the guns on the dining room table (unloaded of course!) and from oldest to youngest they tagged the gun they chose. G'daddy could share what he shot with it and why he liked it. Since we had little boys down to 3, they received a toy gun to play with as their brothers helped them choose wisely. The dads take care of the guns until the boys are old enough to have it in their possession. Let's just say it was a total HIT for these boys! And to top it off, dad enjoyed every minute of it! A memory to be cherished for years to come.
Next, G'ma and G'daddy have taken some diamonds out of a bracelet he gave mom years ago along with some cherished gold pieces from his mom to make all his granddaughters a special ring. All 6 girls will have the same ring (sister/cousin ring) to be cherished. They are still waiting on the final ring to be completed but they will soon be worn with great love! Everytime the girls look down on their hand they will be able to KNOW that they are loved by their heavenly Father, their earthly fathers, and cherished and loved by their Grandfather!
This brings me to the latest gift surprise...the Galaxy Tablets! My sister and I have birthdays within a month of each other. For one month we are the same age as we were born 11 months apart! We were so surprised when they presented us with our tablets! SHOCKING would be a better word for it. They really knew how to give gifts that mattered and served us each for where we are at in our lives. What boy doesn't want a gun? What girl doesn't want a diamond ring? What mom couldn't use a tablet?
It has been fun watching dad enjoy the gifts he has given! What we cherish most is the memories he has given us! What an example of loving others as God loves! My dad does this so well! No gifts were needed to accomplish this but each gift will be cherished.
So, let the learning curve begin! Here is to my first blog post from a tablet:) I'm learning all about apps, widgets, bluetooth, drop boxes, kindles and more.
Hope this works:-)
Grandma and Grandaddy have decided to make this season a fun one. It has been an interesting year as they adapt to life with LBD. Mom is now home with him all day and each day is a unique one. Dad, aka "G'Daddy", has wanted to pass some things on to his grandkids. We are so thankful he is choosing to do that now so he can enjoy seeing their excitement and love for those gifts.
He first started with the boys, 10 grandsons! My dad loved to hunt and had a collection of various guns. Amazing enough he had exactly the right amount of guns for his grandsons. We set up a fun evening for the event. Laying all the guns on the dining room table (unloaded of course!) and from oldest to youngest they tagged the gun they chose. G'daddy could share what he shot with it and why he liked it. Since we had little boys down to 3, they received a toy gun to play with as their brothers helped them choose wisely. The dads take care of the guns until the boys are old enough to have it in their possession. Let's just say it was a total HIT for these boys! And to top it off, dad enjoyed every minute of it! A memory to be cherished for years to come.
Next, G'ma and G'daddy have taken some diamonds out of a bracelet he gave mom years ago along with some cherished gold pieces from his mom to make all his granddaughters a special ring. All 6 girls will have the same ring (sister/cousin ring) to be cherished. They are still waiting on the final ring to be completed but they will soon be worn with great love! Everytime the girls look down on their hand they will be able to KNOW that they are loved by their heavenly Father, their earthly fathers, and cherished and loved by their Grandfather!
This brings me to the latest gift surprise...the Galaxy Tablets! My sister and I have birthdays within a month of each other. For one month we are the same age as we were born 11 months apart! We were so surprised when they presented us with our tablets! SHOCKING would be a better word for it. They really knew how to give gifts that mattered and served us each for where we are at in our lives. What boy doesn't want a gun? What girl doesn't want a diamond ring? What mom couldn't use a tablet?
It has been fun watching dad enjoy the gifts he has given! What we cherish most is the memories he has given us! What an example of loving others as God loves! My dad does this so well! No gifts were needed to accomplish this but each gift will be cherished.
So, let the learning curve begin! Here is to my first blog post from a tablet:) I'm learning all about apps, widgets, bluetooth, drop boxes, kindles and more.
Hope this works:-)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Some
days I just feel 'off' from the get-go! Especially when I see it is
10:30 and I haven't done one subject to teach my 5 kids at home.
I did however start a load of laundry, solved an argument, kissed my husband good-bye, cleaned part of the kitchen, made my bed, gave 2 teen boys a hair cut, and showered.
That doesn't seem to stop my mind from throwing out that I still haven't paid the bills, made our meal plan, prepared for company coming in town, school for 5 kids. I've got college students to encourage, cars to gas up, kids to chauffeur, and then help them prepare for a youth retreat. I still need to wash sheets, straighten the house, lesson plan next semester that is fast approaching. We still have taxes to finish, FASFA to do, and college scholarships to apply for! I hate to admit it but I still haven't written thank you notes for those who helped us during my husbands Gall-bladder surgery in October! YIKES! Don't judge me! I am really trying!
I'm learning to see when I am losing my footing that I need to 'stop' and 'gain my balance' before moving forward. It won't take me long to be around a cranky toddler in the midst of meal planning and juggling 7 other schedules to lose it. How do you not lose it?
I did however start a load of laundry, solved an argument, kissed my husband good-bye, cleaned part of the kitchen, made my bed, gave 2 teen boys a hair cut, and showered.
That doesn't seem to stop my mind from throwing out that I still haven't paid the bills, made our meal plan, prepared for company coming in town, school for 5 kids. I've got college students to encourage, cars to gas up, kids to chauffeur, and then help them prepare for a youth retreat. I still need to wash sheets, straighten the house, lesson plan next semester that is fast approaching. We still have taxes to finish, FASFA to do, and college scholarships to apply for! I hate to admit it but I still haven't written thank you notes for those who helped us during my husbands Gall-bladder surgery in October! YIKES! Don't judge me! I am really trying!
I'm learning to see when I am losing my footing that I need to 'stop' and 'gain my balance' before moving forward. It won't take me long to be around a cranky toddler in the midst of meal planning and juggling 7 other schedules to lose it. How do you not lose it?
Find
your footing...
As soon as I feel the slip coming (blood boiling) I must
STOP and take a BREATH, look to GOD and find my BALANCE (why am I doing what I
am doing) then I can move forward in grace.
If not, I am like a
climber on a rope spinning out of control.
When I stop the spinning I
can see my next step. Just one step at a time to achieve that
mountain. Same thing for mom's mountain...maintaining the chaos in the home, learning to see why I do what I do, and remembering today is about preparing them for a future and not about the mess I see or my list to accomplish. If I lose my cool, what have I taught my children?
Hows your footing?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Search
Family Resources
FamilyLife provides multiple resources that help people build stronger homes and communities. One home at a time!
Our Little Guys
Junior High
Freshman
Junior
Our little one in Heaven
Our 3rd child died 16 weeks into the pregnancy. I'll never forget the words of our 'almost 3yr old' when she told others about her baby brother. She would say baby Adam "tripped over his cord and died". (his cord had become twisted during pregnancy and cut off nourishment). For years our birthday celebrations would end with the release of birthday balloons to be sent to heaven for God to give to baby Adam.
College Student
College Student
Follow by Email
MomLife Today
Tags
Teachable Moments with Splink
Blogs I Enjoy
-
Whitner Family11 hours ago
-
Today’s Links2 days ago
-
The Oklahoma Tornado: What Can We Do?2 days ago
-
After the Rain5 days ago
-
Graham turned ONE.2 weeks ago
-
Thankful Thursday3 weeks ago
-
Cleaning Caddy Essentials3 weeks ago
-
i’m a wannabe…7 months ago
LINKS I Like
States
Countries
Follow US
